Just asking ...

Hi, my name is Joe and I live on County Road 12 NW, about half a mile from downtown Walker; but my address is Akeley, so I am obviously confused.

I live in a residential neighborhood with special needs children, elderly folks, lots of cats and dogs and even chickens milling about. Sure, it is a county road with a bit of traffic, but our neighborhood is in a 30 mph zone, so we should be reasonably safe.

Wrong. See, not only do I live in Akeley, but I live on a curve in the road constantly traveled by heavy industry vehicles, especially gravel trucks that need to apply their jake-brakes to keep them at 65 mph on the corner so they don’t tumble into the ravine. Don’t get me wrong. These are beautiful trucks, well maintained, very shiny. Might like to have one in my driveway just to look at, once in awhile. These trucks cost a fortune. Time is money. I understand.

We also have lots of very smart squirrels that intimidate my dog, Opie. He has never come close to catching one of them, but they hate him anyway. Some of them even commit suicide trying to lure him in front of one of those shiny, speeding trucks.

Do you remember Radar O’Reilly from “Mash”? He could hear incoming helicopters when they were far, far away. I have a similar ability. I can hear the gravel trucks coming from half a mile away. So do the squirrels. They anticipate the arrival, wag their deceitful, bushy tails, tell my dog, “Come on, Opie, chase me into the street!” I grab his collar and wait for the speeding missile to pass by, [and] hope for the best for the arrogant squirrel.

Just asking for folks to slow down a bit. And can someone explain why my address is Akeley?

Joseph Hallbeck

Akeley (so they say), Minnesota

(Not Iowa)

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